


nothing but everything

by mythic_bitch_0



Series: bare: flashbacks [3]
Category: bare: A Pop Opera - Hartmere/Intrabartolo
Genre: Beds, Catholic Guilt, M/M, Power Outage, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-09-18 10:35:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16993428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mythic_bitch_0/pseuds/mythic_bitch_0
Summary: the first time they sleep together, absolutely nothing happens.





	nothing but everything

_ October, sophomore year _

* * *

 

The first time they sleep together, absolutely nothing happens.

It's been barely a month since the short, awkward, beautiful kiss that they shared, that kiss that thrilled and terrified them both. 

If it seems like they should have discussed it - should have decided what it meant, whether it was a mistake, where this is going - well, they wouldn't be Catholic if they did, and these boys have Catholicism born and bred into them. Instead of conversation, they both hate themselves - and love each other - a little bit more.

They've been carefully avoiding the discussion of what had happened, but do Peter's fingers sometimes trail across Jason's shoulders when they're studying? Does Jason press his leg against Peter's when they're watching a movie, so aware of the smallest, slightest touch? Do they dream in the most brilliant colors - light copper, deep green, piercing blue, and endless expanses of pale flesh?

They would say no, if they were asked. What's one more lie, at this point?

Late October is when the power goes out in the entire boys’ dormitory. Nobody knows why - but the power is out, and they have homework to do (Jason is particularly perturbed) and it's awfully cold in these drafty old buildings.

Without power, it's pitch black in their rooms, except from the lights they use on their cell phones. Jason attempts to work on his calculus homework by cell phone light, but after swearing a blue streak that would surprise anyone but Peter, he gives up, and they decide to just go to bed, using their cell phones as little as possible to preserve the battery. 

They don't have to pretend not to be aware of each other's presence when they undress for bed today. With the lights out, not even _moonlight_ , there's not even a silhouette of a slender, strong, too-male figure to invite either of them to sin. In fact, it's so damn _dark_ that Peter hits his leg on the table and falls into bed.

“Fuck!”

“That table has been right there for _months_ , man. That's all on you.”

“Oh, fuck you, too,” Peter grumbles, wrapping his blanket around himself.

After a moment of silence: “It's so cold in here.”

Jason chuckles. “ _I'm_ not that cold. Nadia and I bought these down comforters last time we went home because she says it's freezing in the girls' dorm. They're so soft too.”

Peter curses under his breath again. These rooms really are drafty, and it's cold even with the power on. But whatever. It's only for one night.

Maybe thirty minutes pass by, and Jason hears Peter (gingerly) start to get out of bed.

“Where are you going?”

Peter sighs. “I'm finding some sweats. I'm goddamn cold.” He carefully starts to move across the floor, trying to use the light of his cell phone to guide him.

“You're cranky when you're cold.” And then, thoughtlessly, because surely if Jason had a minute to think about it he would have kept his mouth shut, “You could come over here if you want.”

Peter freezes.

“Just - it's - it's just warm,” Jason practically trips over himself to clarify.

There's another moment of silence. Peter has never wanted anything more in his life, but he somehow can't manage to speak.

Right as Jason opens his mouth to tell him, _ha-ha, I was just joking!_ Peter silently crosses the room and climbs into the small bed that belongs to Jason.

It  _ is  _ warm. Between Jason's considerable body heat and the warmth of the thick downy comforter, Peter can feel the enveloping heat, already, but he doesn't know quite what to do with his limbs.

Jason's moved all the way to the far edge of his bed, but sleeping shoulder to shoulder is still uncomfortable.

“Can I - ”

“Sorry, my - ”

“No, no, just move a little - ”

Their voices trip over each other as they try to maneuver, and finally Jason screws up his courage and takes another stupid, stupid leap.

He opens his arms.

It takes only a second - less than a second. Peter nestles in them right away, his head resting on Jason's shoulder, Jason's arms tucked around him, and with a shaking hand, Jason traces a swooping pattern on Peter's upper arms, running his fingertips along him with infinite tenderness, and he's so _warm_.

Their hearts are racing, but the first time they sleep together, nothing happens except sleep.

As the minutes pass, Jason feels Peter start to relax gradually, the heat and skin against skin making him sleepy, making him melt into Jason. 

“This is just to stay warm, right?” Jason asks, not sure what he really wants to hear, but now, suddenly, this is Peter's moment to be brave.

“Kind of,” Peter says, so soft Jason could imagine it. “But I - I wanted to.”

Jason bites his lip, warm and cold and exhilarated all at once. “Me too.”

“Don't tell,” Peter says suddenly, urgent.

“No!” Jason is quick to agree. “No. Never. Neither of us. I - we won't tell.”

Another few breaths.

“My alarm on my phone is set,” Jason says, always logical. “We'll get up early. No one will know.”

“I trust you,” Peter replies, turning his cheek slightly to brush Jason's jaw, and those words are the most beautiful thing he can say. 

What happens next - well, it can't fairly be called a kiss, not when it's so delicate and faint that Jason might possibly have dreamt it, except for the beat of the racing heart in Peter's chest, proof that he is there, proof that this is happening. Peter brushes his lips against Jason's jaw, and in that contact Jason feels himself getting hard.

He's scared and ashamed and excited, but this isn't that kind of story.

It's the first time that they sleep together, and they are scared and young and above all enamored of each other, and nothing happens. If certain parts of their bodies don't behave, they ignore it, pretend they cant feel anything unusual. Jason shifts his hips so his erection isn't digging into Peter's hip, and Peter says nothing at all, not a laugh or a comment or a stray hand to brush his boxers - he simply shifts himself as well, in return, so that they can hold each other as tightly as they want.

When Jason sighs deeply, right before drifting off to sleep, Peter does not kiss him senseless. There's no passionate lovemaking, no pornographic experimentation

Nothing happens. Nothing - except a level of intimacy, of trust that makes both their chests ache with a sweet agony, nothing except the most physical contact they've ever sustained, nothing except the pure knowledge that after everything they are on the same page.

Nothing happens, except for everything.


End file.
